<strong><u><em>Ted Green:</strong></u></em> How about countersuing Elgin Baylor?

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(Today, the Clippers’ general counsel, I think that means their lawyers, issued a statement denying Elgin Baylor’s claims that the Clippers underpaid him and discriminated against him because of his race. What follows is the statement the team’s attorneys SHOULD have released.):

Statement from Clippers’ General Counsel Ted Green:

It’s important to begin by saying that as a general manager, Elgin Baylor was one of the greatest forwards who ever played the game. That concludes the part about Mr. Baylor’s managerial qualifications.

Let’s make sure we, the Clippers’ attorneys, have this right. He says we treated HIM badly?

He’s kidding, right?

If there is going to be a lawsuit here, the Clippers should countersue, charging Mr. Baylor with drafting Michael Olowakandi. And Bo Kimble.

I won’t even mention Danny Ferry.

Does anyone remember Randy Woods? Mr. Baylor drafted him too. Elle Woods would have been a better NBA player, and Reese Witherspoon played her in the movie.

Does Mr. Baylor remember that his first-round draft picks were so bad, they also included a lacrosse player and a busboy from Jerry’s Deli?

In fact, his judgment was so egregiously awful, the Clippers now brag about drafting Benoit Benjamin the year before Mr. Baylor’s employment began.

For the record, the public should know that we paid Mr. Baylor something close to $7 million during his GM tenure with the Clippers.

You don’t see us asking for a refund, do you?

We would also point out that during his 22 years of well-paid employment, more than 125 NBA GM’s had tenures of five years of less.

Therefore, we would suggest to Mr. Baylor that if he wants anything more from the Clippers, we’ll get him the engraved leather chair the league honored him with for his annual appearance at the NBA Draft Lottery.

You know, the chair with his name on it. After a dozen or so trips to the lottery, Mr. Baylor got so familiar with New Jersey, he was on a first-name basis with Tony Soprano. He was the only NBA GM who required a second home in Piscataway.

Fact is, if our clients had any earthly idea what they were doing, they would have terminated Mr. Baylor about 19 years short of the 22-year mark.

Indeed, it is Mr. Baylor who shares some culpability in creating a Clipper culture that made Elton Brand want to leave town so fast, he turned down $80 million and actually teleported himself to Philadelphia.

In summation, if there is going to be meritorious litigation here, it is going to be the Clippers suing Mr. Baylor.

The charge: impersonating a general manager.

-- Ted Green

Former L.A. Times staff writer Ted Green used to broadcast Clipper games, ‘used to’ being the operative phrase. He is currently senior sports producer for KTLA Prime News.