For Chargers to Reach Super Bowl, Henning Must Break Cycle

Bless the Chargers. They have done it. After seven weeks and three days of dogged search, they have found the man who fits the criteria to be their new head coach.

Apparently and incongruously, it took so long because only one man fit the criteria . . . and they kept thinking there had to be someone else.

They were looking for a man with previous head coaching experience in the National Football League.

As it turned out, I have to assume that there was only one former NFL head coach both alive and available.

Dan Henning.

All the others had to be employed, retired or deceased.

Steve Ortmayer, the director of football operations, identified Henning as an available, living former head coach rather early in the proceedings but did not jump to a hasty conclusion. Given all the rumors of Elvis sightings, Ortmayer must have been perusing the tabloids for reports of a Vince Lombardi sighting.

A fellow can never be too careful.

But what was this charade, as Chicago Bears assistant Johnny Roland called it, with all the other candidates? Why were Ron Lynn and Wayne Sevier and Mike White and Jerry Rhome and Floyd Peters and, yes, Johnny Roland strung along for so long when none of them fit the criteria?

Ortmayer should have told them: “Listen, guys, I’ve found one living former head coach who’s available. It’s gonna be his job, unless, of course, another living former head coach calls me between now and Valentine’s Day.”

No one called.

And so it came to pass that Dan Henning was introduced Thursday, though one television station carried a graphic identifying him as Doug Henning.

This was a disconcerting press conference, because I kept hearing the word “Chargers” and the term “Super Bowl” in the same sentence.

More appropriately, these should be part of a question on an SAT test . . . except it would be so easy that even an athlete could pass it.

To wit . . .

Identify the word or term that does not associate in any way with the word or term in bold face:

Chargers

A. Mediocre.

B. Discombobulated.

C. Dull.

D. Super Bowl.

That’s right, Bonzo, the correct answer is D. Unfortunately, it will not get you into MIT, because three chimpanzees at the Wild Animal Park also got this one right.

Yet, throughout this press conference, the talk was of the Chargers and the Super Bowl. If someone had said something about it happening within our grandchildren’s lifetime, it would have been credible. However, I got the impression they were suggesting this was a possibility within the five-year term of Henning’s contract.

“Dan Henning is our guy,” gushed owner Alex Spanos. “He comes highly recommended. I know he’s the guy to take us all the way.”

That was the sales pitch. Dan was The Man. He would change the course of this football team.

For the sake of the Chargers and their fans, it would be nice if this optimism was well-placed. However, Henning would also have to change the course of history.

You see, Henning’s previous head-coaching experience encompassed four years with the Atlanta Falcons. The record was 22-41-1.

In defense of his record, Henning said: “Statistics . . . You can do anything you want with them.”

That being the case, it is probably of no consequence to note that Henning took a bedraggled franchise and did make steady statistical improvement.

Indeed, Henning (and the Charger hierarchy) spent considerable time at the press conference explaining what happened in Atlanta and why it will be different here.

History comes into play because history tells us there is little likelihood that it will be any different here.

Let’s forget all of the post-hiring rhetoric and take a look at the history of Super Bowl coaches, because that happens to be what the Chargers think they’ve hired.

I am going to invent (or at least borrow) a term here. I am going to take a look at what “recycled coaches” have done in the Super Bowl. A recycled coach is defined here as one who had “previous experience” as an NFL head coach before joining the team he took to the Super Bowl.

Only three such people exist--Weeb Ewbank, George Allen and Don Shula. Every other Super Bowl head coach got it done with his original team.

What’s more, Ewbank, Allen and Shula all had considerable success with their original teams before taking new positions and going to the Super Bowl:

- Ewbank won two NFL championships with the Baltimore Colts in the ‘50s before taking the New York Jets to Joe Namath’s guaranteed victory in the 1969 Super Bowl.

- Allen was 49-19-4 in five years with the Rams before taking Washington to the 1973 Super Bowl.

- Shula took Baltimore, his original team, to one Super Bowl and then moved to Miami and went to five more.

Obviously, the franchises hiring these “recycled coaches” were buying a history of success, and it was no surprise that they were parties to the Super Bowl.

Perhaps Dan Henning will be the breakthrough coach. Perhaps he will be the first to fail in one job and rise to a Super Bowl in the next. Perhaps Steve Ortmayer’s insistence on previous head-coaching experience was a stroke of genius, although the expression has never been applied to the current Charger honchos.

In the meantime, I wonder if Alex Spanos would be interested in a used car I’m trying to sell. Should be no problem. It’s on its second engine.