Interview with the vampire-counter: Stephen Kaplan says...

Interview with the vampire-counter: Stephen Kaplan says Los Angeles has the largest vampire population in the world--36--and he’s not referring to Hollywood agents. Kaplan should know, if anyone would, because he’s the head of the Vampire Research Center in Elmhurst, N.Y.

We’re not making this up. The center is listed on Page 566 of the 1994 World Almanac & Book of Facts. Anyway, Kaplan says Angelenos needn’t worry. “Most vampires are very pleasant individuals,” he said. “And they require only a few ounces of blood, two or three times a week.”

Kaplan, who teaches parapsychology courses, doesn’t feel he’s sticking his neck out with such pronouncements, even though scientists say there is no evidence of beings who need to drink blood to survive.

“I’ve been interviewed over 2,000 times on radio and 135 times on TV,” Kaplan pointed out, removing any doubts we had.

So why are vampires drawn to L.A.?

“Vampires are sexually charismatic, high-energy people--and that’s L.A. people,” he said. “Besides in California, if you’re unusual, no one will notice you.”

Kaplan, by the way, disliked the new Tom Cruise movie, “Interview With the Vampire,” and not just because of the plot. “They didn’t even invite me to the premiere,” he complained. Obviously the snub left a bad taste in his mouth.

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Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man meet the Postal Service: From the vampire-counter, we move to the cinematic vampire’s son--Bela Lugosi Jr.

An L.A. attorney (no jokes about his choice of professions, please), Lugosi and two other descendants of scarifying actors are pushing for commemorative stamps to honor their kin.

“These were classic horror figures--a big part of Hollywood history,” pointed out Lugosi, whose father starred in the 1931 “Dracula.” Joining him in the petition campaign are Sara Karloff, daughter of Boris (“Frankenstein”) Karloff, and Ron Chaney, grandson of Lon (“The Wolf Man”) Chaney Jr.

Sara Karloff said the petition drive has so far drawn about 6,000 signatures. Others who wish to show their support may write to her at P.O. Box 2424, Rancho Mirage, Calif. 92270.

A Dracula commemorative would be doubly appropriate, inasmuch as the Postal Service recently announced that for each piece of first-class mail, it soon will suck 32 cents out of customers.

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This really shouldn’t follow a vampire item: Kathy Tannen noticed that an ad in the Wine House catalogue for a Hollywood Park event seemed to be directed toward females willing to bare parts of their bodies. We suspect the writer meant button-less blouses, but fashion isn’t our department. We’re still trying to figure out the reference to pants.

miscelLAny Our photo of the new stamp of Groucho Marx and John Lennon issued by the province of Abkhazia in the former Soviet republic of Georgia moved Phil Proctor of L.A.’s Firesign Theater to write. He noted his satirical group made the Marxist-Lennonist photo link in 1969 on the cover of the album “How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All?” Sounds as though Abkhazia is trying to pull a dirty, non-Commie trick.