Stay Tuned for Fun on the Dial

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” . . . now a special offer from the Home Shopping Network. His and Hers State Division I championship plaques.

“Call now for this limited edition. Only one set left. Offer good on Saturday. Void where prohibited.”

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” . . . today on Oprah, girls’ basketball teams that step from the shadow of their boy counterparts. Meet Mater Dei Coach Mary Hauser, a modern day Susan B. Anthony Peeler. Hear her roar . . . “

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” . . . Saturday on HBO, Vanishing Son: The Clay McKnight Story. He’s a senior who has had a dream. Can he give dad a State title before riding off into the Big West?”

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” . . . stay tuned for Road Warriors. Mel Gibson was tough, but these girls are nails. See them hammer opponents. See them struggle to free Orange County from Brea Olinda’s full-court oppression . . . “

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” . . . Frontline will follow the ‘Three Tenors’ marathon on PBS. Tonight, how the Mater Dei girls’ basketball team keeps winning with players who look up to everyone except Billy Barty.

“And, remember, public television, unlike public school leagues, welcomes everyone . . . “

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” . . . No. 10, Siegfried and Roy. No. 9, Schea Cotton. No. 8, Houdini . . . “

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” . . . I’m Sally Struthers and the hunger felt by these poor Woodbridge players can’t be eased by a State championship alone. Please help feed these unfortunate children at their postgame press conference.

“Here are the Warriors after their victory over Brea Olinda. Look at those starving faces as they scan the interview room for free hot dogs. Look at their disappointment. Please give . . . “

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” . . . now American Bandstand’s headline act, Melody Peterson. She’s tough to beat and you can certainly victory dance to it.”

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” . . . on Meet The Press, Mater Dei’s Shaun Jackson.”

“Mr. Jackson, describe your performance Saturday?”

(Silence).

“Mr. Jackson, what will you have to do to win the State championship?”

(Silence).

“Mr. Jackson, knock once if you can hear me, twice if you can’t.”

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” . . . TNT presents, Warrior II. The story of a basketball team with a Native American nickname and its search for justice. They lost to the evil Sacramento El Camino in the title game last year. Now they’re back, with a vengeance . . . “

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” . . . let’s look at the tote board to see how we’re doing on the CIF telethon.

“Wow, Mater Dei fans must be burning up the lines. Thanks for helping to underwrite state high school athletics. Look at those ticket sales.

“The needy CIF, undercut by the state . . . “

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” . . . of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world . . . “

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” . . . Tonight on the Movie Channel, Airplane XIV. See courageous flight attendant Julie Hagerty serve coffee, tea and milk to Mater Dei zealots . . . “

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” . . . the Wild Bunch, Jeff Sink and his band of Ladycats, ride into town to settle an old score. The last stand that took courage . . . “

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” . . . now back to the O.J. trial . . . “

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” . . . now back to the O.J. trial . . . “

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” . . . now back to the O.J. trial . . . “