Some Balance Is Exactly What This Family Needs

Marv Marinovich, who is directing his 10-year-old son Mikhail toward sports as he did with son Todd years ago, is training other young athletes as a fitness guru.

“As great an athlete as Michael Jordan is,” Marv told ESPN Magazine, “you can see his gluteus medius [buttock muscle] is weak. It affects his jump shot. You have to have balance.”

Comment from Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle: “If Jordan only knew--he could have been a superstar.”

*

Trivia time: When did USC last defeat UCLA and Notre Dame in the same season?

*

Admirable goals: Jay Leno on Minnesota governor-elect Jesse “the Body” Ventura: “Actually, Jesse’s platform was simple. He wanted to cut taxes, eliminate wasteful government spending and outlaw the sleeper hold.”

*

Puzzling Irish: Skip Bayless writing in the Chicago Tribune before Notre Dame beat Navy on Saturday to improve to 8-1:

“Bob Davie’s Irish are 7-1. They should beat Navy. They certainly could beat Louisiana State at home and Southern Cal (and its true-freshman quarterback Carson Palmer) at L.A.’s Coliseum.

“Yet in stretches they’ve looked more like a 1-7 team.”

*

Come again? Mitch Albom in the Detroit Free Press: “After all those years in Utah, Karl Malone is demanding a trade: This week he said: ‘It’s time for Karl to move on.’

“And once again I am forced to ask . . . why is he talking in the third person? Did he suddenly leave the room?”

Some more words of wisdom from Malone on his L.A. radio talk show: On the NBA lockout: “We’re either having a season or we’re not. And that’s my statement to the fans.”

*

Ouch! Comedy writer Alan Ray, on Callaway Golf Clubs laying off 700 employees: “It involves the reassignment of duties. Unaffected workers will be assigned to the heads. Affected workers will get the shaft.”

*

Grass chant: Tim Keown in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The police knew they had them nailed when they heard the chant: ‘Yo, sack that dude or something.’

“Twenty-one fans were arrested for smoking marijuana at last week’s Jet game.”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1946, UCLA routed Montana, 61-7, at the Coliseum on its way to a 10-0 regular-season record.

*

College payoff? Ohio State tackle Tyson Walker, asked to explain why the top-ranked Buckeyes lost to Michigan State on Nov. 7: “I don’t get paid to think like that. I get paid to do what they tell me.”

*

Trivia answer: 1981. The Trojans beat the Irish, 14-7, and the Bruins, 22-21.

*

And finally: From Dallas Cowboy tight end Eric Bjornson, who caught a two-yard touchdown pass from Troy Aikman to secure a 16-6 victory over the New York Giants on Nov. 8:

“This really hurts my average.”

Bjornson had three catches for an average of 23 yards before the touchdown.