Oh, the Indignity of It All

She withdrew last week from the Republican presidential primary because, she said, she could not afford to sustain a viable campaign. But was money the only reason Elizabeth Dole bowed out?

We think not.

Probably more of a shock than George W. Bush’s seemingly bottomless war chest was the humiliation factor of primary politics. Before we elect anyone to the most powerful position in the entire world, we like to have a little fun with the candidates. Make them wear funny hats, have them kiss a few farm animals, feed them large portions of indigestible “regional” food.

And then take their picture.

For a woman like Dole, who threw a fit a few years back when someone referred to her by the innocuous (and previously acceptable) nickname “Liddy,” the hazing-like ritual of the photo op must have been sheer hell. This is, after all, a woman who still wears high heels, whose lipstick and nail polish are perfectly coordinated. Imagine her inner torment as she was forced to mug with local beefcake, gamely accept gag millinery, smooch her competition (something one would never ask of two male candidates, thank you very much) and generally allow herself to be photographed in less-than-dignified situations--not to mention contortions--all the while making sure her skirt didn’t hike up and her hose didn’t run. This woman was the president of the Red Cross, for heaven’s sake. She should not be expected to do the cancan under any circumstances.

So while there must be disappointment, surely there is relief. Now she can return to a more sedate role: the presumably happy wife of the man in all those Viagra commercials.