Letter to Locals Is (Terrific/Awful)

(As an aid to all of you busy but loyal Bruin/Trojan fans, feel free to use the following letter to the sports section, circling pertinent nouns)

As a longtime (UCLA basketball/USC football) fan, I feel the bile rise in my throat each time I sit in my season box and watch the (Bruins/Trojans) lose another game to a mediocre opponent. I don’t expect a championship every year, but I don’t think an appearance in the (Final Four/Rose Bowl) should be out of reach in any year for a school with as great a (basketball/football) tradition as ours.

The players are undisciplined, unorganized, and year after year they show no improvement under that so-called coach (Bartow, Cunningham, Brown, Farmer, Hazzard, Harrick, Lavin, future coach/Tollner, Smith, Robinson 2, Hackett, future coach). It should be obvious that he’s not equipped to coach at a university of our caliber. He has got to go.

I believe that (Pete Dalis’/Mike Garrett)’s chronic (arrogance/incompetence) prohibits him from recruiting the coaching talent that will allow us to play on the same level with (Duke/Nebraska), (North Carolina/Florida State) or (Notre Dame/Notre Dame). How can we compete with these programs when we can’t even beat those (spoiled children/damned filthy hippies) over at (Troy/Westwood)?

JOHN D. REPKA, Laguna Beach