Tourists in Big Bear Suggest a Few Ways to Improve on Mother Nature

“Tourists in Catalina aren’t the only ones asking stupid questions,” begins a note from Kay Yates of Big Bear Lake, referring to an item in this column. As proof she enclosed a clipping from the Big Bear Shopper that listed some of the suggestions and comments that the U.S. Forest Service has received, including:

* “Please avoid building trails that go uphill.”

* “Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.”

* “Trails need to be wider so people can walk holding hands.”

* “Need more signs to keep area pristine.”

* “Too many rocks in the mountains.”

And, finally:

* “A dear [stet] came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed?”

But can it navigate the freeways? Kevin McDaniels of Santa Barbara was surprised to come upon a 4-wheeled watercraft (see accompanying). I wonder what kind of cruise control it has.

You know how picky relatives can be: Mark Berlin of Venice saw an opening for a chef who specializes in family-style dining (see accompanying).

Speaking of family gatherings: All your cousins and aunts and uncles could fit on the piece of furniture spotted by Lorraine Curtis (see accompanying).

A singular distinction: Did you hear that Marina del Rey has the second-highest percentage of divorced folks of any community in the nation? Cape Canaveral, with its history of wild-living astronauts, is first with 22%. Marina del Rey’s rate is 20.7%.

The Washington Post called the Marina a “hangout that gives off a ‘70s swinger musk as memorable as a whiff of Brut cologne” and quoted a dating consultant as warning, “If you go to the Marina, you’re going to be hit on by a bunch of rug heads” (toupeed gents). I don’t care what they say. I still get teary-eyed when I hear George Strait’s tender country ballad about the couple whose romance went bad after they had “ ... loved the world away / in Marina del Rey.”

Think of it as a going-away party: The note about the San Fernando Valley Independence Committee asking that donations be sent to a West L.A. address caught the eye of Kathy Prickett, way back in Carthage, N.C.

“It reminded me of a story about a man who planned to build a brick wall around the state of Texas,” she said. “Of course, three-quarters of the donations were from out of state.”

miscelLAny: It seems as though almost every weird story has a Southern California connection. Baseball star Ted Williams (born in San Diego) dies, and his son has his body frozen by a company called Alcor Life Extension Foundation (founded in Riverside).

Next, Alcor will be holding a convention Nov. 16-17 at the Newport Beach Marriott. No word on whether Williams will be there, in body or in spirit.

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Reach Steve Harvey at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 or e-mail [email protected].