Think your job is a joke? Good! That’s the spirit we’re looking for

I guess laughs are in short supply at the Port of L.A., what with speculation of a possible terrorist attack and all.

But Art Vinsel of San Pedro alerted me that there may be more smiles there -- by order of the boss. Vinsel sent along a Daily Breeze article about the new five-year plan for the port, one plank of which calls on employees to “increase laughter by 30%.”

And the person behind the idea, Executive Port Director Geraldine Knatz, is taking steps to achieve that goal.

The Breeze’s Donna Littlejohn reported that “kicking off the new lots-of-laughs era will be an employee lunch and program coaching employees on ‘How to Be a Hit at the Holiday Party’ -- complete with fun decorating tips, jokes, holiday punch and a recipe exchange.’ ”

I think that should be good for a quick 3% increase in yuks. Luckily employees have five years to reach the 30% level.

Chew on this: On a visit to Japan, Wu Tan of Walnut saw a restaurant that seemed to be crying out for customers (see photo).

Bouncing right along: Phyllis Dziobecki of Long Beach spotted an unusual item for rent -- and presumes it was gone within 30 minutes (see photo).

Unfortunate juxtaposition: D. Munro of West Covina noticed a for-sale ad that was written in such a way that one sentence acquired a double meaning (see accompanying).

Name game: Phil Wickey of Long Beach chanced upon a business in Pennsylvania that some wives might be interested in using (see accompanying). So why Husband Exterminators? The owner’s name is Jack Husband.

Fa la la, Long Beach: I read in the Grunion Gazette that New Groove Music, a recording studio, is holding a lyrics contest for a song about Christmas in Long Beach.

Well, it won’t be easy to live up to the greatest civic holiday ditty: “Christmas in Malibu,” by the Radudes.

I mean, listen to these lyrics:

They were breakin’ outside, sudden rise of the tide

Then out of the northern sky comes a sled

It lands on a swell, guess who’s inside?

St. Nick and his elves, wet suits off the shelves

It’s the one day of year, they get the waves to themselves ...

(Sorry I was a bit out of tune there -- I’ve got a cold.) Now, I’m trying to compose a Long Beach song but it isn’t easy. I can’t think of anything to rhyme with “Queen Mary” or “710 Freeway.”

miscelLAny: Strike four!

In a bookstore I noticed a “Los Angeles Dodgers 2007” pictorial calendar ($13.99), which, strangely enough, has months devoted to four departed players: catcher Dioner Navarro and pitcher Odalis Perez, each of whom was traded away last year; third baseman Bill Mueller, who has retired; and outfielder J.D. Drew, who has decided to play elsewhere.

Looks like the calendar maker, J.F. Turner and Co., should read the newspapers -- and not publish so far ahead of time.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at [email protected].