Taking ‘Beat Texas’ a bit too far

Here’s hoping USC and UCLA fans are never disappointed when their rivalry isn’t listed at the top of those “College Football’s Most Intense Rivalries” lists.

Because that’s a good thing.

Consider the story of the Texas fan who walked into a bar in Oklahoma wearing a Longhorns shirt in June.

He left bloodied, with wounds to his groin area that required more than 60 stitches.

The Oklahoma fan accused of injuring the 32-year-old man faces aggravated assault charges that could send him to prison for as long as five years, according to an Associated Press report.

Allen Michael Beckett, 53, reportedly a church deacon, a federal auditor and an Army combat veteran, has pleaded not guilty.

His next court appearance is scheduled for Oct. 4 -- two days before this season’s Red River showdown.

The problem ahead? Finding an impartial jury.

“I’ve actually heard callers on talk radio say this guy deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country,” said Irven Box, an attorney in Oklahoma City.

And here’s a detail that doesn’t come as a big surprise.

Neither the defendant nor the victim attended either university.

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Trivia time

Which team leads the Texas-Oklahoma series?

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Insert your rival’s name here

College rivalries feed off the other team’s mishaps, often using variations of the same jokes.

So naturally, folks are having a field day with the recent string of arrests involving Texas players.

Among the Longhorns jokes circulating on the Internet:

“What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.”

“Four UT Longhorns in a car, who’s driving? The police.”

“The UT Longhorns have a new ‘honor system.’ Yes, Your Honor. No, Your Honor.”

“What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant please rise?”

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The King

and the Duke

Arnold Palmer has something new in common with John Wayne.

Not only does he have an airport named after him -- the Arnold Palmer Regional Airport near Palmer’s hometown of Latrobe, Pa., was renamed in his honor in 1999 -- but now he has a statue there too.

Palmer’s likeness, like the statue of the Duke at Orange County’s John Wayne Airport, is larger than life.

That’s not all, Palmer said as he gazed at it during Monday’s dedication.

“I wish I was that young,” Palmer, 78, said with a laugh.

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Johnny Cash

After catching a fly ball for the final out of the sixth inning during a loss Thursday at Toronto, Johnny Damon of the New York Yankees gave the ball to a fan in the front row.

When the fan handed back a $20 bill, Damon ran down the line and gave the money to a youngster.

“They were on me. I figured I might as well take $20 and give it to a kid, you know?” Damon said. “Hopefully he can go out and buy a Yankee hat.”

And a tip of our cap to Newsday for the subhead about the man in black.

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Are we

being taped?

From reader Joe Kevany:

“Three-time Super Bowl champ New England is in hot water for secretly videotaping defensive signals of the New York Jets.

“Said a team spokesman, ‘We thought such spying was covered by the Patriot Act.’ ”

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Trivia answer

Texas, 57-39-5.

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And finally

One more rivalry joke:

There’s a new Texas rallying cry: “Book ‘em, Horns.”

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