Now They Tell Teens to Stop De-Bugging Us

Ever worry that we’ll run out of stuff to put in the newspaper?

Don’t. We never will.

Even in our darkest hours, otherwise known as “a slow news day,” someone always comes to the rescue and gives us something to write about.

If you doubt that, just consider what’s going on this week in Newport Beach.

In an otherwise ordinary week, a spirited ruckus has erupted. Feel free to choose sides.

At issue: whether Newport Harbor High School science students are taking too many bugs from Upper Newport Bay.

True confession: That particular debate wasn’t on my radar screen.

And I’m supposed to be keeping up with local news.

My research on the issue is incomplete, but can’t we give our poor high school students a break? They get blamed for everything these days, and now you can add bug-napping. It’s not like the students are taking the bugs just to be mean (notwithstanding the fact they take them back to school and stick pins in them).

No, the students need them for class projects. In a way, the bugs are school supplies, like calculators and notebooks.

Why Not Bug Teachers?

Rather than criticize students, why not ask tough questions of science teachers? I don’t know what it is about biology teachers, but they seem to have an unnatural preoccupation with death, especially that of frogs and bugs.

Accordingly, high school often requires that students get acquainted with disgusting, slimy insects--the same creatures we spend the rest of our lives trying to avoid.

Well, guess what, they don’t sell bugs at supermarkets. That leaves students with the undignified task of collecting them in their preferred habitats. And rather than hoping to come upon the occasional stray bug in the street, students head for a place where bugs are known to hang out.

I could have directed Newport Harbor students to my kitchen cupboards, but they chose instead the Upper Bay.

And that’s where our flap begins.

State biologist John Scholl, who supervises the bay, has been patient long enough. He says students are damaging the ecosystem by removing the bugs. Aside from that, he and other scientists say, it’s just not kosher to de-bug the bay.

He wonders why students can’t gather their bugs somewhere else.

Point of Extermination

If as a reader you’re as uninformed as I on this subject, your first question undoubtedly is:

“Just how many bugs is too many to take from the Bay? Eleven? Thirty-five hundred? A quarter-million?”

Apparently, nobody can put a precise number to that.

That’s why we have a controversy.

One Newport Harbor teacher says the bugs breed so quickly that taking them from the bay couldn’t possibly dent their numbers to an appreciable degree. A county entomologist was quoted as agreeing with her.

Other scientists, however, likened the preserve to a wildlife sanctuary where the inhabitants--even creepy, crawly ones--should be left alone to live in peace.

Sorry, but I have a hard time equating students on a field trip to ivory hunters in Africa.

Are we really running out of bugs? I don’t mean to be indelicate, but do we really need as many bugs as we have?

Rather than reveal further ignorance on the subject, I’ll leave it at that.

Besides, my real interest is a scientific study of the news vacuum.

I learned in journalism school long ago that conflict is one of the cornerstones of the news business. People will always be arguing about something, the professor told us. When they do, that’s news.

How right he was. If I told him about the bug debate in Upper Newport Bay, he’d probably just nod his head knowingly.

So, to state biologist John Scholl and the students at Newport Harbor High, my hat is off to you.

We in the news business always wonder where the next great conflict will come from.

Thanks for thinking of us.

*

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to [email protected].